A Youthful Diary

Sunday - Fine and clear

In the morning, went to clean up the office.

Returned in the evening. Straightened my room a bit. Went to the baths for the first time in a while. Ate alone at a sushi shop on the way home.

Next year, I want to go to night school again.

Next year, I want to study to my heart’s content.

I cannot foresee what turns my destiny will take next year.

Next year, too, my whole life will be to act as my teacher guides me.

The twenty-second year of my youth is ending, etching in my heart its history and memories in the working of cause and effects.

To bed at 12:50.

Thursday - Fine and clear

Life is a succession of struggles. But I think the important thing is what we struggle for and what foundation underlies our striving.

The purpose for our own battle being sublime, as long as I have not the slightest particle of regret, it will be a battle of supreme happiness. Now I realise there will be no regrets. Therefore, I have only to march ahead with a smile.

I wish to adorn the finale of my battle with splendid efforts that are truly worthy of me. Whether I win or lose is secondary. I must make it my first priority, however, to display ability power of action, firmness and responsibility in this struggle.

Napoleon won in battle, and then, after crushing defeat, won again, but in the end, he was defeated hero.

Pestalozzi’s fifty-year struggle seemed a total defeat, yet in the end, he emerged victorously as a great educator.

The important issue for me now is how to strive, how to crown my life’s finale with victory.

Ultimately, there is no other way but to base one’s life to the end upon daimoku.

Home at 11:30. To bed at 1:30.

Wednesday - Fine and clear

Clear skies. A refreshing morning.

My physical condition good.

Worked vigorously all day. Bitter criticism leveled at Mr. Toda. I will fight resolutely.

I am confident I understand Mr. Toda’s great mission better than anyone else.  I alone truly understand what is in his mind. Blazing with righteous anger. I will fight with all my life.

Home at 1:20. To bed at 3:00.

Saturday - Clear

Only one week remain of this year.

This year truly has been a succession of misfortunes. Yet the Mystic Law’s power will transform great evil into great good.

Until the last day, I shall fight, brandishing the sword of the Law - for Mr. Toda, for myself, for the Gakkai, for the company, for the Japanese people and for humanity.

Both our company and the Soka Gakkai are like the morning sun - now about to rise and dispel the darkness.

Went in the evening to M.’s house on a business errand. About twenty people were gathered there. Made various explanations.

Home at 11.30.

Tuesday - Clear

In propagating this supreme Law, one should make the sacred teachings of the Buddha’s lifetime his basis and familiarise himself with the commentaries of the eight sects.

- (GZ, pg 103

Nothing is more changable than the human mind. Friends who were as close as fish and water until yesteday may become enemies brandishing arms at one another today. A person deeply in love in the morning may change his or her by evening, as easily as water flows. A visitor with whom one conversed intimately a few days ago may flare up in anger in response to a moment’s shift of mind.

My heart does not change, but my circumstances are intimidating.

Though youth may be trampled upon and assailed by their surroundings, they must grow straight and powerfully, like young shoots emerging from the black soil. They must live with pure and youthful vitality.

Youth is the highest and greatest privilege in the universe.

Society is in chaos. yet to be defeated would be tragic. Defeat could all too easily be the first step towards a miserable life.

Home at 11:00.