May 23, 1951

W7ednesday – Light rain

A great day.

Spoke with M. about various matters for about two hours in the afternoon. He is really trying hard. I appreciate him from the bottom of my heart.

Lectured in the evening t a dozen or so members at I’s house on The Opening of the Eyes and Reply to Hakiri Saburo. Everyone looked delighted. Nothing makes me happier than to see members’ spirits raised even a little.

Return home at 8:50. Tried working on copy for The Daibyakurenge but could make no progress. Felt discouraged. When will the day come that I can satisfactorily express my thoughts in writing? Prayed to the Gohonzon to convince U. and T. to take faith this month so that they may be saved from unhappiness. To bed, 12:00.

May 22, 1951

Tuesday – Cloudy

A warm day. Things are not going smoothly at work. Troubled. There is an expression, “Advance one step and retreat two.” Faith is absolutely the only way to a solution.

This year, we conducted the first Omori District discussion meeting. Only four guests attended. Shocked, as this truly was not what I had expected. Why do so few people seek this faith, this True Law? Felt alone, dejected. All I can do is fight with all my might until the end. The motion of a single wave yields two, then a thousand and ten thousand waves. Through the power of the Mystic Law, the day will definitely arrive when people beg us to be allowed to take faith. Until then, I will try my best. I must do my best. If i try my best, this is enough. The members are all fighting hard. They are truly admirable. Fellow members, I congratulate you! Let the flower of happiness blossom – for this, I feel like praying.

May 21, 1951

Monday – Clear

Truly fine weather.

My head aches. Fatigued.

Could this exhaustion be caused by last night’s nightmare? Felt empty all day. Defeated in battle.

Visited M.’s in the afternoon. Though weak, they are a good family. One the way home, visited Y.’s. Engaged him in dialogue, taking a dauntless attitude. He seems to have felt something.

Characters determines destiny. The stout-hearted may be strong but may still suffer greatly.

Questions and Answers on Embracing the Lotus Sutra reads:

Now, if you wish to attain Buddhahood, you have only to lower the banner of arrogance, cast aside the staff of your anger, and devote yourself exclusively to the one vehicle of the Lotus Sutra. Worldly fame and profit are mere baubles of your present existence, and arrogance and prejudice are ties that will fetter you in the next one. Ah, you should be ashamed of them! And you should fear them, too!

- (WND, pg 58-59)

May 20, 1951

Sunday – Cloudy

M. and S. came by. As soon as they left, Y. came over. Together, we went to Omori for propagation activities. Really troubled over my own inability to introduce others.

Returned to my room early in the evening. Spent the day feeling vaguely lonely. What a miserable day it was.

Rested and read a magazine. To bed, 11:00.

May 14, 1951

Monday – Cloudy

A Gohonzon-enshrining ceremony for Miss Y. of Kamata Chapter at 7:00. Mr. Toda attended, and I accompanied him.

The S. family is bright and happy. It is easy to see that Mr. Toda cares for them dearly. Even  among those who practice faith, there are people or families who give us good feelings, as well as those who make us uncomfortable. It seems to me that the people or families who leave us with a good impression are those with pure faith, who are sincere and happy.

Read until midnight. Had many thoughts.

I would like, someday, to write a long poem titled “Religious Revolution”.